Or, “What if they actually put the tax dollars to work?”

Did you know I’m actually a bit of a public transport fan? Well now you know!

This post is basically just me rambling about various upgrades and changes that should happen. I’ll break it down into “Plausible or easy” and “Pipe dream” sections, then further break those down into subsections as relevant (which you probably noticed before reading this blurb but I’m writing this blurb before the contents section actually exists so deal with it).

Also just a general reminder that I also make youtube content if you want more than just one-ish blog posts of my authorial voice per month – I’ve made it a ‘soft’ new years resolution to put out at least one piece of content each month here and on my channel.

Also also, this will probably be a video on my channel At Some Point (I will link it here if/when it is)

Plausible or Easy Changes; How Could Dan Andrews (not) Do This???

So there’s a few things that I think are either common sense changes, are already planned but not done yet for some reason, or otherwise are easy improvements to the network.

Buses

So there’s this guy named Peter Parker (yes, really) who is a former Victorian Public Service transport planner that currently leads a campaign to fix the route 800 bus down in Dandenong but is spitting facts more broadly about buses. Basically, with just some tweaking to frequencies you could make them way more appealing to the general public. In addition to this, there’s some places where you could totally just drop a bus lane in or add some priority at traffic lights and you’d massively improve frequency. Honestly though, I’m not a massive bus fan (rail gang rail gang) so I don’t really have many thoughts on them.

Trams

There’s a few routes that I think could easily be made better and/or added to easily that are no-brainers.

Glenny line connections

First off, the trams that go right near the Glen Waverley train line should be extended to make better connections with the train stations their termini are basically right fucking next to. The 109 got extended to Box Hill and has an… okay interchange with the train service that I think is being upgraded as part of SRL East? Yeah let’s have more of those.

Rowville light rail

I am Not Happy that the current plan is “trackless tram”¹, when it could be actual trams for only 2x the estimated cost. The benefits are immense: you don’t need as big batteries if at all, you don’t have to keep replacing rubber tires that produce rubber dust, and it’s a fuckin tram not a bus+. I guess with the university on the route pushing it, there might be some movement towards it finally being made (even if it is just a bus+) but We’ll See.

Doncaster rail boyssssss

Next up, a little further north, why not extend the 48 further up Doncaster Rd? it’s only 3.8km to go right next to some major new developments and up to a major shopping and entertainment destination, a hotel or two and so on. Light rail is not super expensive per kilometre. Like the Glen Waverley line connections, the 48 extension would connect to two bus interchanges. Synergy!

Brunswick and Coburg

Eliminate parking on Sydney Road and let the trams just avoid car traffic stopping them altogether. That’s it, that’s the post.

But more seriously, anyone that’s had the displeasure of driving on Sydney Road will understand that there should not be cars parked on the side where there are plenty of shops that would do well to have a good tram service and bike lane access in front of them. So simple to change and such a no-brainer I’m shocked it hasn’t happened already (just kidding, it’s NIMBYs, it’s always fucking NIMBYs).

The West Side

The only “easy” thing here I can really think of here are to extend a branch line down Barkly Street with how built up Footscray is becoming. I’ll write more on the west in the pipe dream section…

Bayside

Fuck them rich fucks

Trains

Unfortunately there aren’t that many easy options, so I’ll stretch it a little bit to include things that were part of transportation plans recently-ish that aren’t being done that should be done.

West Side

I’m gonna start in the west because they keep getting shafted due to being safe labor areas.

First off: holy shit fucking electrify to Wyndam Vale and Bacchus Marsh already. Yes there are complexities introduced by Regional Rail Link but cmon it’s not insurmoutable. Plus the 2012 development plan suggests even electrifying up to Geelong (or well, Grovesdale/Waurn Ponds, so further still) to connect up Avalon too into the suburban network. I think that’s a great idea since it was literally planned out anyway. What I’ll add onto it is, I think the previous experiments with Tangaras ahem I mean the 4D should be dusted off and re-examined in the context of intercity travel between at least Geelong to Southern Cross and maybe even the Melton/Bacchus Marsh service – the dwell time of double deckers would be offset by long distances between stations and the increased capacity, it makes sense.

Next off when it comes to west, I guess Airport Rail Link technically is west? Yeah. Just build the fucking thing already, convince Albo to tell the airport to fuck off about under/overground stations and have it just be part of the regular network (not extra like Sydney does or how Skybus works, that’s dumb).

Northern + Clifton Hill groups

I think Cragieburn/Upfield are northern? idk I think it’s funnier if I just don’t check this minor detail and have people be pedantic.

Anyway, the very obvious one is, reconnect Upfield to Cragieburn, duplicate the line, Campbellfield station and spur on some urban renewal in the Campbellfield area now that all the industry got shipped to China Vietnam and India. Simple as. The other useful and relatively easy change would be Wallan electrification with how much development is going on up there.

On the Clifton Hill group, signalling upgrades and line duplication in sections of the Hurstbridge line that still aren’t done would be Nice. Also this would be easy if you squint your eyes a bit but uhhhh….

Cancel North-East Link (or at least connect it up at the Ringwood Bypass/Eastlink interchange…) and BRING BACK FUCKING DONCASTER RAIL DOWN THE EASTERN FREEWAY. It makes even more sense with SRL, making Doncaster another opportunity to connect to city services, not just Box Hill.

Burnley Group

Honestly, the only “easy” one here would be to reconnect the Alamein line into more of the former Outer Circle and duplicate it, plus station near Chaddy. I would think the data would back up the idea that this link would serve a lot of trips currently done via car or bus that go between areas that are on the Belgrave/Lilydale, Glen Waverley, and Cranbourne/Pakenham lines and far enough out that going in to Richmond then back out again would be silly. Having a connector further out is obviously a good idea, otherwise the SRL wouldn’t be made; Alamein reconnection would be cheaper, faster, and get most of the job done.

Caulfield Group

The most obvious one that isn’t already being built (gj dandrews on Pakenham East) is a Clyde extension – it’s an area that’s being built up and has poor transport options (ANOTHER lane on the Monash is not a solution). The benefits are immense, including providing an option to extend V/Line back to Koo Wee Rup, Leongatha, Inverloch etc or extend suburban service through to Pakenham South since that’s where a lot of development is happening there too.

The second most obvious change is electrifying Stony Point at least to Baxter and maaaybe buying back the Mornington Tourist Railway to run revenune services from Baxter to Mornington again. There do be a lot of people down that way who could do with a good connection into the suburban network.

Pipe dream

Okay, reasonable and plausible upgrades are one thing. Let’s talk about the epic big cool stuff that is never happening but I wish it was.

Buses

As mentioned before, I’m not super into buses but in addition to what little I said before, I would just add on: bus lanes everywhere!!! bus traffic light priority in more places!!!

Trams

Okay so like, trams are massively underrated y’all. Literally the perfect in-between for areas that need either more than a bus but not as much as heavy rail or as a walking augmenter. Anyway, trams!

Glenny line connections+

I’m not sure if there’s the traffic to support this but I think it’d at least be fun to extend a couple of the tram routes near the Glen Waverley line out across to the Alamein line or further and having more of those silly tram/train track intersections lol.

Tram Road Tram Again

I recently read that Tram Road in Doncaster/Box Hill actually did have a tram for about 10 years at the end of the 19th century. You could totally just… bring that back and send it out to Doncaster East or branch off at Doncaster Shoppingtown to go up to Templestowe or even to The Pines! Like cmon, Tram Road Tram Revival is such a banger idea and a banger name. “Tram Road Tram Revival Authority” or “TRTRA” just rolls off the tongue.

Footscray Tram Network Revival

With Footscray being one of the major satellite city/15 minute city/etc precinct and getting higher density development, it would make a tonne of sense to revive some or all of the former Footscray network. Just read this to see where the old network ran.

Airport Rail

Wait what’s this doing in this section? So fun fact, there was an airport rail back when the main Melbourne airport was Essendon Fields. I believe it was a spur off the current route 59 into the airport? Anyway, the 59 could be extended up Melrose and Airport Drives into the Tullamarine airport. Airport (heavy) rail is good but more capacity and stops in the intermediary areas better.

Bendigo Tramways

I found an article via Wikipedia about a trial (that was rigged!) where the tourist tramway was used for commuter services during the morning and afternoon peaks with 20 minute frequency and it had light patronage. Just as a tourist service, it still manages 40,000 annual riders (which yes, is barely any. but cmon, just tourists taking it for the lulz? that’s not bad) so expanding it out a bit to feed the train service from all the suburbs would be Good and Cool I’d think.

Trains

Okay I have a few ideas here so I’ll just go clockwise with the changes I think would be lit

Geelong

As mentioned before, Tangaras/some other double decker for services into Melbourne and electrified up to Waurn Ponds. Simple as.

Melton and Beyond

Electrify to Bacchus Marsh, straighten out the alignment of V/Line track past Bacchus Marsh to get the Ballarat services going faster. Also, connecting Maryborough back up to Bendigo and then reinstating the Mildura line would be great especially considering the size of new developments around Maryborough. Also fix the Overland to be a proper interstate service instead of the tourist bs it is right now. Nhill deserves better!!!

Sunbury

Branch line from Watergardens into the new developments reaching towards Melton would be some forward thinking no politician could do – so let’s do it! We can’t just keep adding lanes to major highways into Melbourne…

Cragieburn/Upfield

Basically what I said above – connect up Upfield to Roxburgh Park, Campbellfield station and redevelopment, extend suburban service to Wallan. Cragieburn/Wallan services at least during the peaks seem like another solid place to put in some Tangaras/double deckers. The lines also just need some upgrades (duplication mostly) for higher frequencies.

Mernda

Doreen extension might be helpful, I’m not super knowledgeable on this section but it has been extended before (Epping to South Morang, then onwards to Mernda).

Hurstbridge

Upgrades, people! Upgrades!

But yeah, more line duplications and signalling upgrades, in addition to what’s already happening.

DONCASTER MOTHERFUCKING RAIL

Okay realistically I should’ve put this one here only, but like, cancel the current north-east link bs, connect it up properly as a ring road to the M3/Ringwood Bypass interchange, build Doncaster Rail down the M3 median as was always intended, except connect it up to the SRL (which is totally gonna go beyond just SRL East guyssss! Totally!!). Would complement trams to Doncaster nicely for shorter trips.

Alamein

Turn back the clock… Turn it back into the Outer Circle… except it’d be more of a middle circle now… Kinda related, Kew spur returning would also be kinda fun.

Belgrave/Lilydale

Line duplications for more express services tbh.

Glen Waverley

Okay, hear me out. Connect it to Upper Ferntree Gully via Westfield Knox. Can do some spicy cut and cover down Burwood Hwy for part of the alignment as well. Would enable some mobility in the outer east.

Cranbourne/Pakenham

As mentioned above, Clyde extension for suburban service and Leongatha V/Line services returned. Wonthaggi and Phillip Island services with sprinters or something would be pretty neat – I wanna do a trip to the funky island place by train! Make it happen, Jacinta! Do what Dandrews didn’t!

Frankston

Yeah, basically just as mentioned: electrify Stony Point and buy back Mornington for revenue service. I’m not sure what alignment you could even use for getting further down the Mornington penninsula, so buses that link up with the train service would be the easiest solution here.

Conclusion

So yeah, that’s the broad strokes of what I would love to see happen with the PT in Victoria. The stuff that I clearly know more about hopefully doesn’t betray where in Melbourne I live but ah well, gj if you do figure it out.

Also I guess technically some of my “pipe dream” stuff is actually on the revised network development plan from 2018 but without a date or with a decently far away date. But given that as of writing we’re a couple months after the federal gov decided to axe some infra spending that was earmarked for Victorian rail improvements (conspicuously missing on cutting to road spending, funny that.) and then that same federal government put in a tax cut… Yeah I’m not holding my breath hey?

I guess I do have some maps I made, but I think it’d be more fun to draw it out MetroManMelbourne-style in a YouTube video. Hopefully by writing this I’ll hold myself accountable to actually make it…